18.8.07

You're Not Listening Now, Can't You See?

(Empty Apartment, Yellowcard)

I wonder what it that makes a person so easy to ignore? Some people just get talked around, as if they aren't even there. I'm sure people have seen it happen. I think that people will rarely notice it. I am one of those people that, in conversations, get talked around, interrupted, and generally ignored. I re-met someone yesterday that actually spoke directly to me, and it really caught me off guard. It is a little sad that I have become so used to conversations going on around me (regardless of whether or not I try to be a part of them) that I am surprised when someone actually speaks to me. An example: When people are reminiscing, most of the time I will be listening to their story, completely lost as to what happened or what the memory is about. Most of the time I will ask a couple of times what they are talking about, or to hear the story, and then fade back into the background when no one deigns to explain it to me. This is not only random people, this is true of some of my best friends. Don't get me wrong, I am not criticizing them. It's just who they are, combined with who I am, I suppose. Is it just that I have a weak presence in a room? Do I just not demand attention like most people do? Maybe it's just in my nature; just part of being the way I am. Maybe people pick up on that without realizing it, and react accordingly in conversations. Maybe I am just overthinking this, as I do everything else, and it's just that people don't really like me, or think that I can contribute to their conversation. I realize that it is everyone that does it, though. My family, my friends; people that love me. People that choose to spend time with me. Why would they chose to spend time with me if they consciously thought that I was of no worth in conversation? I guess I just exude bland, uninteresting-ness. Maybe that's just me.
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